sciencegeek (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sciencegeek) wrote2008-01-18 01:48 pm
sciencegeek) wrote2008-01-18 01:48 pm
Torchwood, Series 2, Episode 1 recap
This series starts with the TW crew, minus the illusterious Captain Jack following what appears to be Nemo the Clownfish driving a car. Perhaps this is what happens to teenage clownfish - they go off into the world to rebel against their overprotective fathers, and drive sportscars through Cardiff. In any event, pubescent Nemo stops to let an old lady cross the street, and then the Torchwood SUV pulls up to ask said old lady if she saw a blowfish driving a car. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but that did not appear to be a blowfish. But whatever. I'd go into if it were a fish it wouldn't be breathing, let alone have the legs, feet, hands and arms to drive a sportscar, but I'm sure no one would appreciate that. Plus, it would hinder my thoughts of wild and crazy Nemo. Granny points the way, and then says "Bloody Torchwood". I have to admit, she may have a point. I mean, if I, not knowing previous actions by Nemo, was not harmed by him, and wasn't run over by him, I'd be of the "Why is Torchwood hunting a non-aggressive fish/human love child?" mindset. Also evident in her saying that, Torchwood is no longer a secret agency, which with the amount of crazy they get involved in, isn't really surprising.
Tosh is giving an update on what Nemo is ('some sort of landfish' for those keeping score at home), and Gwen is nagging Owen about himn speeding and "There are children around". Funny that never stopped you guys last series. Owen points out that if children are out after midnight, they have it coming (I'm assuming he's talking about the inevitable running over of said children). While not much of an Owen fan, he has a bit of a point. Besides, what does Gwen want him to do? Drive the speed limit so they possibly lose Nemo? He's got the
Mmm...Ianto with a gun, and asks about special weapons. Apparently Ianto has played the "Get out of the Hub for free" card today. Tosh misunderstands thinking he's wondering if the fish has special weapons and she says not that she can tell, and Ianto clarifies "Do we need special weapons?". Anyway, a bit of bitterness from Owen about Jack leaving them. Gwen and him exchange some sort of look, I'm guessing they've had this argument before. Gwen points and says "Blowfish" and then we get a weird shot of Tosh and Ianto leaning in so we can all see them...looking for the blowfish. I don't know, it looks contrived. Anyway, she doesn't see the blowfish so much as she sees the tail lights of a car. In the driving sequence Owen appears to be making some weird movements. Like he's trying to deke out the blowfish from inside the car. Anyway, chasing the blowfish, Owen leans out the window with Gwen holding the wheel to shoot at the wheels of the fish's car. I'm not entirely sure why Ianto or Tosh can't do this, but I'll go with it, since I'm feeling surprisingly Owen neutral so far. Anyway, he shoots the wheel, and blows his gun (ha), and my residual Owen-hate gives me the fleeting image of Owen blowing his head off whilst doing this.
The stop behind the car, Gwen gets out with her gun and says "Where has he gone?" Shut up, Gwen, perhaps you should have been paying attention. Shots from inside the house, and the TW team goes in. Owen tends to the wounded dude, Gwen grabs some girl and shoves her behind a screen, and Tosh starts rattling off that Nemo is on coke. Nemo goes on with some big monologue, about how they are lost without Jack, and dares Ianto to shoot him. Bored, now. Jack shoots the fish between the eyes, and asks "Did you miss me?" I DID, JACK.
The team gets back to the hub, and have a new dynamic. Tosh is still the stereotypical nerdy Asian, and I hope she develops beyond that. Anyway, Gwen asked Ianto to dispose of Nemo, and he asks "Unless you want to make sushi?" which is sort of funny. Though, the word sushi actually refers to the vinegared rice, not the raw fish. Gwen explodes, all angry that Jack left them. Insert Jack sighing, and Gwen going on. Though I understand why she is upset. Jack goes on to say he found his Doctor, and that he "came back for you" saying this while looking at Ianto. Then attempts to cover by adding "For all of you" afterwards. But the fangirls already know the truth. I must say, Ianto looks fab in that suit.
Rift activity, and we cut to a man coming out of...the rift or some such, in a carpark, kills a man that was threatening another dude, and walks off saying "Thirsty now", which I am hoping is a nod to Vampire!Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The 15-year-old fangirl in me, must point out that James Marsters seems to have aged well, and have a bit of a fangirly fit at this point in the show.
We are now at a bar playing horrible music, where
TW crew comes across the dead body, and I can't tell if Jack is being a bit of an arse to Toshiko or not, here, ok maybe she was pointing out something that may have been a bit obvious, but hey, if she hadn't they wouldn't have known the dude was killed by someone who came through the rift. Jack tries to assert his authority, is somewhat shot down by Gwen, and Jack remarks that he wants a power struggle, that is resolved by naked wrestling, which is pretty much what one would expect from Jack. And, as much as I love him, he's becoming a bit of a one trick pony, yeah? The "I'll make lewd remarks, and flirt with everyone" trick. It's getting a bit dull. PC Andy! Anyway, Jack's wrist thing beeps and they get a message from the Mysterious Stranger, asking for Jack to meet him in a bar. Clearly a man from Jack's past, then. He also makes a Star Wars reference, which totally wins me over. So, even if he is evil, I'll still love him. Jack leaves in the SUV, Owen bitches, Tosh says she can track Jack, Ianto calls a taxi.
Ok, not sure what Jack was thinking, but I am not fond of those shoes - the brown seems wrong for that pant colour. Anyway Jack arrives at the bar, aptly named "bar reunion". Wow, HD really doesn't help skin appearance now does it? Anyway, the boys kiss, which is apparently how people who travel in time say hello. They then proceed to beat each other up, which I think is a secret handshake, since they smile through the first bit of the fight. There's also some weird cuts done, which I hope are do to the fight continuing after a commericial or something, because otherwise it's a bit painful. John Hart (James Marsters) is officially introduced, and the team shows up, and John wins another point in my book by remarking about how gorgeous Tosh is. Ianto seems to be jealous of John, which I get, but at the same time, I'm a bit "You know that he has exes, and you know he's a tart". And oh sweet mother, I just had the image of John in a skirt and apron, and my brain approves. While, I hate to correct Tosh, he's hot, not cute, but then I blame RTD for giving her the line. John whips out his wrist-strap-thingie to explain why he's in Cardiff, and Jack is quick to point out that it's smaller than his. John then remarks that it lasts way longer. For those wishing to start a drinking game, start drinking everytime a sexual innuendo comes up in this show, I'm sure you'll get plastered. It is revealed that Jack was a Time Agent, something that the Team did not know. Ohh...Jack, looks like you have some 'splainin' to do. Apparently John had a partner/lover that made some radiation cluster bombs that got sucked up into a Rift Storm and thrown out into Cardiff. Apparently this storm did not break or otherwise harm the cannisters, as they have not exploded, yet. However, given time they will break down and spew radiation throughout Cardiff, and the planet. I'm thinking that this should be the first clue to everyone to back the fuck away from the man. If the guy is partnered to a gal making radiation bombs, for no apparent reason, in an area that has a Rift In Space And Time, they both are just asking for trouble, and likely not up to any good (I mean, the girl couldn't've been planning any long term storage of the things, if the casing breaks down that quickly. Just sayin'). But, Torchwood, for all the brains they have, are not terribly bright and agree to help John. Well, Jack agrees for them. John flirts with Tosh a bit (and yes, John she is the brains and the beauty of the show, thanks for asking), and we're outside the Hub where Jack tells John to get on. Now, myself I was expecting John to jump Jack, but he saunters over and stands on the concrete beside Jack. I'm also wondering what, exactly, is the tourist entrance on Jack. Actually....no.
In the Hub, John is de-armed, and Jack talks to Gwen and goes on to say, and I quote "If there is the tiniest one percent chance he's telling the truth", instead of that large 1% chance I keep hearing about. Gwen says that Jack knows everything about her, which makes me wonder what exactly she has done with Jack for him to know everything, and she knows nothing about him, and that he keeps shutting her out. News flash, honey, he shuts everyone out, at least where his past is concerned. Though I'm not sure why he won't tell the Team about it. Anyway, the Gwen Jack dynamic sort of confuses me. She doesn't seem this determined to know every detail about everyone else on the team. Anyway, Jack seems to say that he came back 'home' for Gwen, which UGH. but then finds out she's engaged, and seems a bit put out, for reasons I don't quite get, since he told her last series to keep a hold on her personal life etc because they need someone like that on the team. I'm thinking he should be more excited than this. Gwen seems a bit pathetic in saying "No one else will have me". The feminist in me is raging that she feels that she needs a man, or significant other to be complete, and that she is desperate enough to have that ideal married life to say yes even though she may no longer be in love with Rhys, and right after writing that, she appears to do the "omg I love you" close-my-eyes while Jack kisses my cheek in congratulations thing. Awesome sauce.
Meeting time, in which Gwen pairs everyone up to go look for the cannisters, and appears to either be trying to play matchmaker with Owen and Tosh, or is wanting to keep John to herself. She puts Ianto and Jack together, I'm sure because the writers told her to. John flirts with Gwen, which she seems to enjoy, and Ianto rolls his eyes. At least Ianto knows that the guys slick, and not altogether on the level. Jack and John seem to exchange a look in this shot, either for Jack to challenge Gwen, or John saying "I'm going to score tonight", and Jack saying "oh, ok, let's see how far you get then". She claims that the reason she wants to go with John is that if she might be able to get the real reason why John is here, if she goes off with him. I'm sure that's why she did a bit of flirting back with him in this shot. Given what Jack said earlier about the likelyhood of him telling the truth, I think it's a pretty damn slim chance Gwen will get the truth from him. And, let's be honest, if he's a con-man like Jack was, good luck, Gwen. You're not the Doctor or Rose. Anyway, both Jack and Gwen overestimate her abilities and she goes with him, with a set of rules to follow, which are as follows: don't believe anything he says, always keep him in front of you, and don't let him kiss you. I know this will sound mean, but I'm not sure that, if John really wanted to kiss her, she'd be able to stop him. The dude just picked someone up and dropped him off a carpark. I'm just saying.
Cut to John and Gwen searching the containers in a trainyard, apparently at random. Nice to see they have a plan on how to eliminate containers then. Gwen decides this is a good time to ask about the woman John was talking about. Smooth Gwen. What happened to the flirting and getting his guard down? Asking about, what is presumably, his dead lover is not going to get his guard down. And if Gwen thinks that's flirting, she should get lessons from Jack. Rhys calls to tell Gwen that he got a job, and John proceeds to murmer sweet nothings as she is on the phone, which bothers Rhys a bit, but seems to buy the "he's some idiot I work with" line. The phone call ends with Rhys saying "yeah, well I love you more" in a nice, cute way, and given the way Gwen has acted thus far in this show, I can't say he's wrong. Gwen then manages to lose John. Way to go Gwen. Clearly, you are doing an great job getting to him, and finding out the truth. Really. John is found, and tries (and, I think succeeds) in getting to Gwen, by saying "Once a con-man, always a con-man" and not to trust Jack. John - 1, Gwen - 0. They open a container, find the cannister standing on end, which I find surprising, if a Rift Storm brought it through, and Gwen decides to ignore Jack's rules and runs in front of John, and is then kissed by him. She pushes him off, but the damage is done. Apparently in the future there is paralysing lip gloss, which I guess John is immune to, and is incredibly fast acting, because now Gwen is on the floor, paralysed.
Cut to Owen and Toshiko who are searching some storage building, (I'm guessing) with no lights, only their torches. They have a bit of a bonding moment, Owen no longer going on the pull, as he needs a 'proper girl' and comments that it's difficult to find someone that he has things in common with. I think that it has more to do with Owen not having the alien pheromone spray that makes people fall in lust with him, than not finding someone with things in common with. And for your safety, dear readers, I won't comment on the 'proper girl' thing, except to say that I find it offensive. Way to break down barriers RTD. Tosh agrees that it is difficult to find someone, and does not comment on the 'proper girl' statement. They find the cannister, and John shows up, and hits Toshiko, which brings his point total back to 0. John informs us that that he muted the comm system with his wrist-strap thing. Which begs the question why Jack didn't take it away from him, if he knew the features it has. Anyway, Owen wins more points in my book by saying "If you touch her again, I will kill you", as I assume he's talking about Tosh. John then debates using a gun, or a cricket bat to rough up Owen, and decides on the gun, and shoots him.
To the final group! We're in an office building with Jack and Ianto, which Jack apparently likes. A lot. Ianto seems a bit out of sorts with Jack's return, and not knowing where he stands. Jack asks how Ianto is doing, and Ianto gives a somewhat non-revealing answer. Poor boy, I sort of feel sorry for him - his boss/lover comes back, and within the same day one of his ex-partners (in every way!), shows up. I can see how he'd be a bit spooked. Jack asks Ianto on a date, and Ianto stipulates it can't occur in an office, and Jack is off to the roof to search for the cannister, and Ianto searches in the office. The elevator dings, some indeterminate time later, and Ianto goes to investigate, and pulls out his gun, since hey, if he shoots and kills Jack, Jack'll come back to life. John comes up behind him and says "Into the lift, Eyecandy", and Ianto drops his gun. Poor Ianto. But then, on this show he sort of is eyecandy. Ianto is off to play the hero and Jack finds the cannister. John shows up on the roof, and comments that, even if Jack made a bad choice with him, Jack did fall for his scam, which is sort of sad. I guess when you get out of the con-game, you get a bit rusty. John seems to genuinely want Jack to come with him, further solidifying my idea that Jack, not Gwen should have gone with John. At least he seems to be willing to open up a bit with Jack. Jack says some mean stuff, that really, when standing next to the edge of a building may not be the smartest thing to do, throws the cannister over the edge, and then is pushed over the edge by John. Apparently taunting the guy that was in Murder Rehab, isn't such a good idea.
Ianto is off trying to find the rest of the team, and we go to Tosh and Owen. Owen was shot in the side, and Tosh is helping to patch him up. Both are a bit clueless to why John let them live, and I am a bit puzzled as well. In any event, Ianto shows up, and I'm kind of digging Tosh's coat. They wonder about Gwen, and we cut to John exiting the building, and taking the cannister and Jack's wrist-strap. He does seem to be a bit upset that he killed Jack. Cut back to Ianto, Owen and Tosh now looking for Gwen. They try her phone, and find it. Owen thinks that she must have dropped it, and the brains of the group points out, it could be a trick, and triangulates where Gwen used it last, in hopes of figuring out where she was last. They find the location of the last call, and Tosh tells the boys to open every last container door. Thanks, Tosh I'm sure they needed that instruction. Tosh finds Gwen in a container, and it's a good thing that Gwen found that cannister so soon after Rhys' call. Using the magic of Torchwood technology and science, they figure out she was poisoned and pull out the anti-toxic kit. Apparently the magic paralysing lip-gloss got into Gwen's mouth (it looks like Ianto swabbed her teeth?).
It's now morning and Cardiff, and apparently John decided that the Hub was the best place to open the cannisters and reveal pieces for a triangle. I guess he didn't bring along 21st century earth money to rent a hotel room. Anyway the team shows up, Gwen does some monologue on how they are like cockroaches. Jack shows up, and seriously throws John for a loop. He does a bit of the bravado thing, though Jack doesn't answer the question that I want the answer to - how does it feel coming back to life? Anyway, John comes clean, that he's after a diamond, and wonders if anyone fancies an orgy
John freaks out (understandably) and The Stopwatch makes an appearance, Ianto seems to be amused, even though it seems possible that he might be blown up, unless they figure out what to do with John. John punches Jack, and manages to handcuff himself to Gwen, securing his survival, since there's no way Jack'll let 'the heart' of his team die. Gwen calls him 'unbelieveable', and John replies "and yet you find me strangely attractive", which is true. And I'm not so sure on the unbelieveable thing. I mean if I were John, that's what I'd do to secure the aid of Jack in helping me live. Gwen decides that if they can get into the rift the city will be safe, but they will be dead, and they figure that's the best plan thus far. Everyone but Jack and Owen leave with Gwen as she manhandles John to an exit. Jack and Owen start mixing blood, and put it in, what appears to be a high-tech swinging bucket centrifuge. I hope they balanced it, since those things can take people out if they aren't. I'm not entirely sure what good this will do, since DNA extraction is not something that can be done in 8 minutes or so, but I guess this is another Torchwood Science thing that I will never understand.
Cut to the car, Tosh can't find a way to jam the signal of the crazy bomb thing, and John comments that he may actually see why Jack likes 'it here' and comments on how gorgeous everyone is outside the car, Gwen asks if he ever stops, and John replies "Five minutes to live and you want me to behave?" besides, she seems to like it enough when Jack behaves like this. John then takes a liking to something, which Gwen points out, is a poodle. My brain, in it's infinite stupidity, provided images for that encounter.
Meanwhile...back on the ranch...Owen and Jack finish with whatever they're making and then presumably start after the others. We now have 51 seconds until explosion, so if it took the one team, let's say 6 minutes (allowing for travel to the SUV from the hub) to get to the carpark, I have no idea how Jack and Owen will make it in time. John wonders where the last minute rescue is, and my guess is that they are stuck in traffic. Gwen starts to say 'Tell Jack I-" when a sports car rolls up with Jack and Owen. I suspect she was going to say "...I love him" and am thankful i didn't actually have to hear that. Jack tackles John and Gwen, and injects him with...something. It doesn't seem to work, but then does, and Jack throws the bomb-thing into the rift, yells "Run!" and a slow motion explosion occurs. It is now dark out, since apparently time has reverted to the time when John first came through the rift. Now they have to avoid themselves so as to not screw with the time continuum. Apparently, Owen and Jack fused the DNA of the Torchwood team and injected it into his heart...which temporarily corrupted his DNA and confused the disc. Again. Torchwood science. Don't blame me, talk to RTD and ask him where exactly he's getting this from, because from where I'm sitting it makes no sense. Jack wants John gone, and Gwen helpfully points out that she's still handcuffed to John. I'm sure they could just give John a laxative and sit by the toilet for a while, but that doesn't make for good TV, so John pulls the key from his throat, and unlocks them both, says some things that sound like they may have been voiced over, and gets punched by Gwen. John gives back Jack's wrist-strap, goes into the rift, and ensures that Jack won't forget him by saying that he "...found Grey/Gray". Betcha wish you didn't make him leave so quickly, eh, Jack? Cue a flashback of two hands letting go, and Gwen asking who Gray is. As John turns into the rift his eyes flash golden, I'm guessing a nod to his character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Coming up on Torchwood, big scary bugs, Martha, people kissing, John's return, and weevils.
I am hoping that, unlike last series, Torchwood remains strong after the premiere, but we shall see. I'll likely post (again) on this episode, with more thoughts, and less snarky-recap.