I rant here about racism, rather than at the people that upset me, and can't help but wonder if fading to the background and not rocking the boat in 'real life' is what comes with trying to fit into an ethnocentric culture.
I hear that. Oh, how I know what you mean. Actually, your entire first paragraph, I get that. I still do that 99% of the time, even though I do talk about racism with people. The consequences of speaking out against racism, particularly racism that you feel, is very different for each person. They are definitely real consequences - when I talk about racism that I experience, I am afraid (I think for good reason) that I will be dismissed or faced with denial.
I'm afraid of losing friends, losing acquaintances, and most of all, being stereotyped as an angry-for-no-reason woman of colour. I don't want to let people in on the secret that I am fucking angry about racism because it will change their opinions of me. I won't get to blend in as 'not like those other Indians.' The consequences of talking about racism are not the same for those who pass as white - for some reason, if you pass as white, people are more likely to assume you have authority to speak about racism because "you won't get emotion in the way since race doesn't apply to you anyway."
It takes a lot of time to talk ourselves out of the guilt that we have for not speaking out too. Every time I don't take the opportunity to say something about racism, I feel like I just punched a part of myself in the face just so I can fit in.
Okay, to limit my typing, your last paragraph: I've been thinking about something like this a lot lately. I've never been able to independently think about bi-racialness (is that even a word?) because I am not mixed, but slowly I start to realize how I relate to the 'not belonging to either' part in many ways. Of course, not nearly in the same way, but it's a feeling I do share with other things (being an immigrant, in particular, I belong to neither country of residence or origin). I'm hearing more and more about this from different people, it's interesting how the same feeling of not belonging manifests in different ways, with varying degrees and material consequences.
P.S. I hope you don't mind, but I'm always amused when the last N in my username is dropped (it happens A LOT) I had to make a separate account. XD Please don't take it personally?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninetydegrees
I always type so much!
on 2008-07-25 04:09 am (UTC)I rant here about racism, rather than at the people that upset me, and can't help but wonder if fading to the background and not rocking the boat in 'real life' is what comes with trying to fit into an ethnocentric culture.
I hear that. Oh, how I know what you mean. Actually, your entire first paragraph, I get that. I still do that 99% of the time, even though I do talk about racism with people. The consequences of speaking out against racism, particularly racism that you feel, is very different for each person. They are definitely real consequences - when I talk about racism that I experience, I am afraid (I think for good reason) that I will be dismissed or faced with denial.
I'm afraid of losing friends, losing acquaintances, and most of all, being stereotyped as an angry-for-no-reason woman of colour. I don't want to let people in on the secret that I am fucking angry about racism because it will change their opinions of me. I won't get to blend in as 'not like those other Indians.' The consequences of talking about racism are not the same for those who pass as white - for some reason, if you pass as white, people are more likely to assume you have authority to speak about racism because "you won't get emotion in the way since race doesn't apply to you anyway."
It takes a lot of time to talk ourselves out of the guilt that we have for not speaking out too. Every time I don't take the opportunity to say something about racism, I feel like I just punched a part of myself in the face just so I can fit in.
Okay, to limit my typing, your last paragraph: I've been thinking about something like this a lot lately. I've never been able to independently think about bi-racialness (is that even a word?) because I am not mixed, but slowly I start to realize how I relate to the 'not belonging to either' part in many ways. Of course, not nearly in the same way, but it's a feeling I do share with other things (being an immigrant, in particular, I belong to neither country of residence or origin). I'm hearing more and more about this from different people, it's interesting how the same feeling of not belonging manifests in different ways, with varying degrees and material consequences.
P.S. I hope you don't mind, but I'm always amused when the last N in my username is dropped (it happens A LOT) I had to make a separate account. XD Please don't take it personally?